I’m starting to write a little about my faith as I travel around Australia and the challenges that seem to follow me as I go. Those of you that know me already know that I’m not into religion or church politics. I simply believe in Jesus. Regardless of whether you’re a person of faith, girls are usually a big thing for guys.
I’m a young single bloke… I think about girls and I’m pretty sure that it’s normal.
When you’re in the traveling scene, you meet girls everywhere (In the photo above, I’m chatting to a group of German backpackers in Canowinda, NSW). The best part? They’re all into having fun and enjoying life. To me, this carefree and fun loving attitude is very attractive and it’s common ground. Add to this that you’re away from home, that there’s nobody keeping you accountable and that traveling on your own can get lonely. All up, it’s huge temptation on one of my moral boundaries, of not playing around with girls. The church calls this sexual purity.
Saving sex for marriage is a pretty cool idea. That said, if any pastor or church leader has ever made you feel like crap because you’ve had sex outside of marriage, ignore them. God already knew you were going to make that choice anyway. Remember, Jesus is in the business of forgiveness. Also remember that forgiveness doesn’t remove the consequences. Your choice might have repercussions that you’ll have to work though.
A Christian view of sexual purity shouldn’t be about what you have done, it should be about what you have committed to for the future.
Aside of the marriage thing, I don’t believe in one-night stands and sleeping around. I value the idea of it being in a committed relationship (If you’re Christian, this should read as marriage).
I’m just a regular bloke but I must be reasonably interesting because sometimes, things progress forward when I don’t have those intentions. I always like to make excuses at this point in time to convince myself that just this once is okay. If you’ve been in a similar situation, I’m sure you’ve thought the same! It’s a hard place to be.
Now there’s not much point of talking about the problem without considering a solutions so here’s how I fight those desires to get laid like the rest of the blokes in my dorm.
Drink less: This is my first recommendation and I think it’s a pretty good one. It’s amazing the things you end up doing after a few scotches or beers. They’re not always things with a bad result either. Getting it on with a hottie can’t be that bad right? In reality, it’ll probably be better doing it sober anyway. So drink less and make clearer decisions.
Take a different view: I have a younger sister and one day, I might be a parent of a daughter. In both these roles, I’m protective and there is no way I would want to see my younger sister or daughter sleeping around and having one night stands.
The girl I’m talking to has a father and I wouldn’t like to face him after screwing around (literally) with his daughter.
On the other hand, in both roles, I’m happy to support any bloke that’s willing to commit time to my sister/daughter to build a real relationship.
Consider your boundaries before you go out: I’ve found that by concisely going out with pre-thought boundaries makes it easier to not focus on chatting up that babe at the bar.
I have a lot of respect for every girl I meet and I think I’m better off for it. I certainly have some great female friends and one day, I hope to meet an incredible woman to call my wife. I have no idea when that might be but for the time being, I’ll just keep enjoying my life as a single bloke. The freedom to work on my car every weekend isn’t going to last forever!
At the end of the day, I know that I’m not perfect. So far I’ve managed to keep true to what I believe and the boundaries that I’ve set but if I do over step them, I hope I can read this and not drag myself along over it.
These are my thoughts but I’m super curious, what are your views on sex outside of a committed relationship? Is there a difference between social and moral boundaries?