Recently, I came across this condensed version of the bible. I have no idea where it originated but the person that came up with it did pretty well. Past, Present and Future, I think we’re always going to need the grace of Jesus to get anywhere!


God:All right, you two, don’t do one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
Satan:You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God:What happened!?
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys…

The rest of the Old Testament

God: You are my people and you should not do the things
People: We won’t do the things.
God: Good.
People: We did the things.
God: Guys…

The Gospels

Jesus: I am the son of god and even though you have done the things. the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don’t do the things anymore.
Healed People: Okay! Thank You!
Other People: We’ve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.
Jesus: I have never done the things.
Other People: We’re going to put you on trial for doing the things.
Pilate: Did you do the things?
Jesus: No.
Pilate: He didn’t do the things.
Other People: Kill him anyway.
Pilate: Okay.
Jesus: Guys…

Paul’s Letters

People: We did the things.
Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things.
People: Okay

Paul’s Letters Part II

People: We did the things again.
Paul: Guys…


John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.


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